Learning to Love Yourself Again: My Self-Love Journey Back to Center
- Pasquale N
- Apr 21
- 5 min read
Last night, I had a dream.
In it, I was doing Crystal Reiki for my cousin Enza. She asked me a bunch of questions - not curious ones, but the kind that poke at your insecurities. The kind that sound like disbelief. When I woke up, I felt panicked.
Not because of the dream - but because I realized how much I still cared about what people think of me.
That feeling? It took me back. I used to carry that weight every day. Growing up, I learned how to hide, how to shrink myself, how to be invisible. That’s trauma. And sometimes, it still whispers through the cracks.
Have you ever felt that way?
It was in that moment I realized - this wasn’t about the dream. This was about me not showing myself the love I deserve.
So I brought myself back to center.
I paused.
I breathed.
And I gave myself what I needed: LOVE.
Here’s the truth most of us forget — when we stop loving ourselves, even for a moment, our thoughts try to get our attention. That inner panic? That discomfort? That’s your soul saying, “Hey… remember me?”
Journal Prompts for Your Self-Love Journey:
That dream with Enza was really my soul questioning me. It wasn’t about her at all. It was a mirror - reflecting how I had drifted from loving and trusting myself. It’s wild how the smallest things - a dream, a reaction, even a fleeting thought - can carry such deep truth when we’re willing to pause and look.
Here are some questions to get you started on the journey back to self-love. These are the same ones I offer my clients to gently guide them home — and you can use them too, especially when you feel that inner tug pulling you away from your center.
I invite you to sit with these questions as a check-in:
When was the last time I worried what someone else thought about me? What did it stir up - fear, shame, judgment, the need to prove yourself? Follow that feeling to its root. It might be an old story trying to replay itself.
Do I feel safe being fully seen as I am today? Or am I still trying to stay small or shrink to make others more comfortable?
How do I speak to myself when I’m triggered, tired, or unsure? Is my inner voice kind? Or is it repeating someone else’s judgment from the past?
How do fear and anger show up in my body? Do I hold my breath? Get tense in my shoulders or stomach? Recognizing these cues is the first step in healing them.
How do I validate myself without needing permission or praise from others? What are three ways I can meet my own needs this week - emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually?
Am I spending time with myself in a way that feels nourishing? Or am I just checking off boxes and calling it “self-care”?
What boundaries do I need to feel safe, supported, and in alignment right now? Don’t be afraid to name them. Your peace matters.
Most of us weren’t taught self-care or self-love. In fact, many of us were told it was selfish - that our worth came from what we do, not who we are.
But I’ve learned this:
Self-care isn’t selfish - it’s soul work.
Self-love isn’t a luxury - it’s a necessity.
And I’m committed to teaching my kids a different way. I want them to know that rest is not laziness, that boundaries are love, and that their worth isn’t something they have to earn. I want them to feel safe being fully themselves - not just when they’re achieving or making others happy, but even when they’re still, unsure, or simply human.
Because the most powerful way to teach love… is to live it.
Start small. Think about the wins you’ve had in your life — learning to walk, to talk, to tie your shoes. You’ve already done hard things.
Now is the time to celebrate yourself.
Each day, reflect.
Each day, notice what made you feel good.
Each day, honor the light within you.
Quick Reset Practice:
When you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, try this:
Pause. Breathe. Place your hand over your heart.
“I am safe. I am enough. I am as Love created me - whole, worthy, and at peace.”
Let that truth settle in your body. Let it remind you who you are.
Reconnect to the divine light inside you.
Create Boundaries That Work for You:
You don’t need to explain why something no longer feels aligned. You don’t need permission to protect your peace.
Boundaries are not walls - they are sacred agreements with yourself. They say: This is where I end and someone else begins. They help you honor your energy, your time, your truth.
If someone gets upset because you set a boundary, that doesn’t mean you did something wrong - it means the boundary was needed.
And yes, it may feel uncomfortable at first. Especially if you’ve spent years people-pleasing or making yourself small to avoid conflict. But healing requires discomfort. Growth asks us to choose peace over pleasing.
Your boundaries are your way of coming back to center. They’re not just for others - they are for you.
They remind you:
That your needs matter.
That your time is valuable.
That your spirit deserves to feel safe and seen.
The more you practice setting them, the easier it becomes to recognize what’s meant for you - and what isn’t.
Let your boundaries be bridges - guiding you back to the version of yourself that is whole, aligned, and at peace.
Let’s Bring It All Together:
Loving yourself doesn’t mean you’ll never feel doubt. It means when those moments come - you meet them with compassion, not criticism.
That dream with my cousin Enza? It was really my soul questioning me. At first, I felt panicked - like I needed to defend who I am. But once I realized I had slipped out of self-love, everything shifted.
Now, I’m prepared for those questions - not because I need to prove anything, but because I know who I am. I don’t need to shrink or explain myself to be worthy.
And neither do you.
Let this be your gentle reminder:
You are worthy. You are lovable. You are already enough.
And that, is where your healing begins.
Feeling called to go deeper?
If this message landed in your heart, it’s a sign to return to yourself. Whether you're navigating self-doubt, healing old wounds, or simply ready to reconnect to your light - I’m here for you.
Book a 1:1 Empowerment Session and let’s realign your energy, your clarity, and your self-worth.
Let’s connect.
What does self-love look like for you right now?
Leave a comment below - or share this blog with someone who needs a reminder today.
About Pasquale: Pasquale is a Spiritual Life Coach & Energy Healer dedicated to helping others achieve clarity, alignment, and personal growth. Through intuitive guidance, transformative healing, and empowerment coaching, he creates a supportive space for self-discovery. Blending spiritual insight, real-life experiences, and humor, Pasquale helps clients move beyond their shadows, embrace authenticity, and unlock their highest potential to live with balance, purpose, and joy.
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This really spoke to my heart.